Category Archives: alone

Dead

A little bit into the afternoon, 20 years ago today, my father died. I hated him a lot. I still do. I can never forgive him, let alone forget what he did to me. But the worst part is that … Continue reading

Posted in alone, child, dad, death, decision, failure to launch, idiot, love, out of stock, schizoid personality, signs, tata | Leave a comment

You knocked me off my feet

I am falling. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He’s just not into me. We had sex and it blew my mind. I have no idea how it was for him. We slept together. Like, we took a nap in … Continue reading

Posted in alone, down and out, fool as one can be, love, meaningless coincidences, moderation, out of stock, the irresistible force, the unmovable object, vulnerability | Leave a comment

to clear the air

on the subject of my relationships, or lack of: I never had a relationship with a man ever upto today march 9, 2016. there were three attempts and a failure to lauch that just failed today. so I actually have … Continue reading

Posted in alone, failure to launch, fool as one can be, love, out of stock | Leave a comment

Aftermath

we reconnected on gayromeo. i was about to close my account when he asked me if i am still single. then he disclosed who he was and i remembered. i said i wanted to meet him. and then i f**ked … Continue reading

Posted in alone, down and out, fool as one can be, love | Leave a comment

my strategy: pre-reject everyone

… including me. that prevents all rejection. and the eventual looser that would like my ugly face and fat body. cause, in the the words of the great margaret chow, ‘if you like me then you are a bigger looser … Continue reading

Posted in alone, down and out, here and now, hope, moderation | Leave a comment

conditional

love is something very relative to me. Apparently my subconscious desires it. I think that being loved is a validation of oneself. So, the thinking is: do I need to be validated? I need to understand if validations of oneself … Continue reading

Posted in alone, love, schizoid personality | Leave a comment

self-service sex

yesterday i had sex with myself in almost 7 month. for the first time i got to appreciate it, besides enjoying it. it occurred to me that it is satisfying, it does not cost much and it is immediate. it … Continue reading

Posted in alone, lifelike self-pleasuring implements | Leave a comment

rejection: what to do about it

nothing. suck it! move on! don’t look back.

Posted in alone, out of stock, take the money and run | Leave a comment

rejection: how it’s done

i have been rejected. almost all the time. from my father who wished i was different, to my mother who wanted a girl, to the last guy that i spoke with. for me the experience was different every time. in … Continue reading

Posted in alone, out of stock, take the money and run | Leave a comment

a date with a libra

i had a date today. with a libra. it has mismatch written all over it. and i don’t like this idea. he is cute, very intelligent, good-looking and 10 years younger. i, on the other hand, am not so good … Continue reading

Posted in alone, friends, here and now, hope | 3 Comments