Category Archives: down and out

I should keep my mouth shut

The Unmovable Object just moved far far away. And now all I need to do is resist the urge to contact him. That is how he works. But that is how it is not working for me. I need him … Continue reading

Posted in 30-days, bisexual, decision, down and out, failure to launch, the irresistible force, the unmovable object | Leave a comment

You knocked me off my feet

I am falling. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He’s just not into me. We had sex and it blew my mind. I have no idea how it was for him. We slept together. Like, we took a nap in … Continue reading

Posted in alone, down and out, fool as one can be, love, meaningless coincidences, moderation, out of stock, the irresistible force, the unmovable object, vulnerability | Leave a comment

Forget you

… i want, as if you were never born, as if we wouldn’t have met. i am numb, i am sad almost all the time and i miss you. i miss the possibility of us together. i miss your wits, … Continue reading

Posted in amends, decision, down and out, love, schizoid personality, why | Leave a comment

Aftermath

we reconnected on gayromeo. i was about to close my account when he asked me if i am still single. then he disclosed who he was and i remembered. i said i wanted to meet him. and then i f**ked … Continue reading

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my strategy: pre-reject everyone

… including me. that prevents all rejection. and the eventual looser that would like my ugly face and fat body. cause, in the the words of the great margaret chow, ‘if you like me then you are a bigger looser … Continue reading

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the worst time to fall in love

Valentine’s Day 2010: maybe too critical, lapse emotionally and too weak to perform, e.i. the worst time to fall in love. I will be staying home by myself.

Posted in alone, down and out, fool as one can be, gays do it better, lifelike self-pleasuring implements | Leave a comment

My Left Leg

PS – btw, this is my 100th post.

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the disadvantage of being alone

i just realized a major disadvantage of being alone. i ate and as result, unbeknownst to me, i left some tomato sauce and something else around my month. i carried that throughout my entire walk downtown. no one said a … Continue reading

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patience

i think his patience is running thin and i am afraid to lose him. i managed to disappoint him a great deal with all the stupid things i said lately. he is someone that remained with me throughout my depression … Continue reading

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if i, will i

if i wake up now will i have enough time to live if i stand up now will i have the strength to make it if i speak now will anybody listen to my words if i kill myself now … Continue reading

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