Category Archives: love


A little bit into the afternoon, 20 years ago today, my father died. I hated him a lot. I still do. I can never forgive him, let alone forget what he did to me. But the worst part is that … Continue reading

Posted in alone, child, dad, death, decision, failure to launch, idiot, love, out of stock, schizoid personality, signs, tata | Leave a comment

You knocked me off my feet

I am falling. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He’s just not into me. We had sex and it blew my mind. I have no idea how it was for him. We slept together. Like, we took a nap in … Continue reading

Posted in alone, down and out, fool as one can be, love, meaningless coincidences, moderation, out of stock, the irresistible force, the unmovable object, vulnerability | Leave a comment

to clear the air

on the subject of my relationships, or lack of: I never had a relationship with a man ever upto today march 9, 2016. there were three attempts and a failure to lauch that just failed today. so I actually have … Continue reading

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Forget you

… i want, as if you were never born, as if we wouldn’t have met. i am numb, i am sad almost all the time and i miss you. i miss the possibility of us together. i miss your wits, … Continue reading

Posted in amends, decision, down and out, love, schizoid personality, why | Leave a comment


we reconnected on gayromeo. i was about to close my account when he asked me if i am still single. then he disclosed who he was and i remembered. i said i wanted to meet him. and then i f**ked … Continue reading

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I feel alright

It is a bit strange. I feel good, I feel I can manage myself. I feel I can manage the good things, get to enjoy them more. I feel I can manage the bad things, the aftermath, the lessons to … Continue reading

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accept joy and let go of fear

I got this quote from the golden globes telecast. I think it was Amy Adams or Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t remember exactly. however I think this should be my state of mind from now on. you know, we often forbid … Continue reading

Posted in change, hope, love, relief, why | Leave a comment

About a relationship

… or something like that, that I experimented about two month ago. by some weird coincidence i got to meet this 23 yo. we drunk beer, he a bit more than me and we kissed and we fucked. actually he … Continue reading

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love is something very relative to me. Apparently my subconscious desires it. I think that being loved is a validation of oneself. So, the thinking is: do I need to be validated? I need to understand if validations of oneself … Continue reading

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i am in love…

… with me. i love my smile. i love my resolve. i love my wit. i love my space. i love my biceps and my triceps and my pectorals. i love my 6pack even if i can not see them. … Continue reading

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