the thing about my mother

ever since i was a child, growing up in Piatra Neamt nad then in Bucuresti, my mother was the center of the Universe for me. she always offseted my father. since i hated him, she was all i had left to cling on. i was in love with her nonetheless. there are a lot of things i am and i do today that i owe to her: an accute respect and polytness, gentleness toward others and a deep sense of justice that i try to hide and rid myself of. because of her, i never enter or leave a place without greeting, i always say thank you even undue. i always am quiet and i try to be gentle and obedient. that is how she is, and perhaps that is how i learned to be from her. it is something like ‘live and let live’.
i told her i am gay. well, she is very religious in a very uncospicous way, and she is abiding to she social norms of the majority. her first reaction was ‘how am i gone face our other relatives and the people we know? what are they going to say about this and about me?’. perhaps it was a little bit selfish on her part. i don’t want to judge. we go along OK, and it is really funny for me the way she changes the subject every time i talk about my gay stuff.
i understand her reaction and i accept it. she was rised in a certain way and i do not expect her to understand this. i hope she still loves me deep down inside even if she does not show it. i know i do. deep, deep, inside me.