Tag Archives: here and now

body shaming

Posted on June 6, 2018 by xavier_j

I hated my body for as long as I can remember. My father body shamed me all the time. I was skinny and tall. Then somebody at school started calling me ‘the skeleton’. I tried to live with all of … Continue reading →

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The Irresistible Force met the Unmovable Object

Posted on May 25, 2018 by xavier_j

he is too distant. i am too pushy. or too insistent. or i just try too hard. i really liked him. i still do. but is a post too far and i can’t reach it. he just won’t call, or … Continue reading →

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compassion

Posted on September 22, 2014 by xavier_j

I no longer need compassion. I do need empathy, but not compassion. I will stop behaving like my problems and my pain are bigger and need more attention and compassion. I can soldier through the pain toward natural healing, I can … Continue reading →

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after 7 month and 7 days

Posted on February 22, 2013 by xavier_j

i had sex with a man. i drove 10 km from my home to his on a week night. i wanted to experiment. i put myself out and i wanted to observe myself. of course i will analyse my feeling … Continue reading →

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my strategy: pre-reject everyone

Posted on November 23, 2012 by xavier_j

… including me. that prevents all rejection. and the eventual looser that would like my ugly face and fat body. cause, in the the words of the great margaret chow, ‘if you like me then you are a bigger looser … Continue reading →

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new year’s resolutions

Posted on December 31, 2010 by xavier_j

In no particular order: spend more time with my son. he is priority #1 when it comes to men. keep a rigorous diet to get me those elusive 6pack abs keep the course at work (after all i won the … Continue reading →

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why i fell out of love for you

Posted on December 15, 2010 by xavier_j

right then, after i finished reading all the posts from your blog, the magic was broken forever. i knew right then and there that something is wrong. it took me several month to figure out your games. it was all … Continue reading →

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it may be the time…

Posted on May 6, 2010 by xavier_j

… for me to settle. i did not have much luck with the sex so i figured that i need to give up and look for something else. i still struggle to become mature and as i do that i am beginning to realize the things … Continue reading →

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i am a catch

Posted on March 6, 2010 by xavier_j

and you know what, i am a damn good catch. but if you want to catch me, you have to chase me.

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tom selleck

Posted on March 4, 2010 by xavier_j

man, this guy is just hot! i am watching FRIENDS and i can not take my eyes off of him. incidentally, he reminds me of someone i used to find very hot up until recently. and may even still do. the … Continue reading →

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