Forget you

… i want, as if you were never born, as if we wouldn’t have met. i am numb, i am sad almost all the time and i miss you. i miss the possibility of us together. i miss your wits, i miss your always sad face, i miss your anxieties and your kisses. and i miss the chance at a life together. i need to tell myself that you were not into me. i don’t know if you ever were but i fucked up and you used it against me and so i don’t know. and in order to forget you i need some version of the truth, or a lie. so, you were not into me and i fell for you and now i need to move on. i love you. i hate you. i miss you. i need to get over you.