i fucked things up as i always do

he is a nice guy or so it seems, sofisticated, been around the block and further. has a partner and is looking for friends, or so he says. i liked the pictures he sent me. cute, attractive body, sporty attituide. nothing short of my kind of guy. and he wrote me. and we got in touch and even arranged to go to the gym together the next day. and what did i do?
well, i assumed he’ll never call and must have passed by me to the next whatever. i always have this restrain to not call. i feel like i bother people if i call or write to them. it is as if i would not want to be an annoyance to them.
he invited me to the gym as his guest and now as i come to think of it, he was pretty specific. this should have been a sign for me that he ment it. what a fool i was! damn!
now, even if my professies would have been realized, that still would not have been a tragedy. why behave like an ass and miss an oportunity to make friends when i could have called. what is worse is that i totally forgot about my father duties. and the worst part is that i could have had it both ways. have my soon-to-be-ex-wife take my son so i could go to the gym. and i did not even think about alternatives.

thus, lesson learned, i hope: never assume, always call, ask for help, look for alternatives, do not be reckless.

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