mixed feelings once again

i am sad because i am o the brink of losing two recent friends, both at once. i over exposed them to my inner emotions and i got them tired of my ups and downs.
a week from now i will be in the bus to Amsterdam. it hit me a couple of day ago that this is the first time ever i will be traveling alone, all by myself. i am a bit worried about how it is going to be. i am also anxious to see what awaits me there.
one good thing is that even though i managed to put myself at jeopardy again, i managed to revert to the adult state of mind. i am still receding from time to time. this, however, is making me more aware of the things that need to change with me and i vow to improve my crisis management skills and to empower my inner adult even more.
thus, positives and negatives. and games averted.