Sudden impact

Nothing prepares you for it. my mother took it the hardest. She lost that day a shepard, a leader, a captain and rather than a friend, a lover and a husband. Is been almost 13 years since my father died. When it happened I was numb. That day I lost my father that denied me his love for me. I felt empty and loveless and deserted.
After a sudden pact it takes a while for you to pick yourself up and pull yourself together. I think it is time for me to do just that: to start anew, to give up the old ways, to recognize that I am not perfect and that that is okay and that I deserve to love myself and that I deserve the love, friendship and understanding of others as much as anyone else.