Tag Archives: change

body shaming

Posted on June 6, 2018 by xavier_j

I hated my body for as long as I can remember. My father body shamed me all the time. I was skinny and tall. Then somebody at school started calling me ‘the skeleton’. I tried to live with all of … Continue reading →

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compassion

Posted on September 22, 2014 by xavier_j

I no longer need compassion. I do need empathy, but not compassion. I will stop behaving like my problems and my pain are bigger and need more attention and compassion. I can soldier through the pain toward natural healing, I can … Continue reading →

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I feel alright

Posted on February 22, 2014 by xavier_j

It is a bit strange. I feel good, I feel I can manage myself. I feel I can manage the good things, get to enjoy them more. I feel I can manage the bad things, the aftermath, the lessons to … Continue reading →

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accept joy and let go of fear

Posted on January 14, 2014 by xavier_j

I got this quote from the golden globes telecast. I think it was Amy Adams or Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t remember exactly. however I think this should be my state of mind from now on. you know, we often forbid … Continue reading →

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Reset

Posted on November 20, 2013 by xavier_j

I am thinking of reset. A reset of me. I’ve been functioning like this for far too long. Almost 41 years. I want to make a change. Big time! Overwhelming! Earth-shattering! Sometime ago I started to wonder if the therapy … Continue reading →

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About a relationship

Posted on June 5, 2013 by xavier_j

… or something like that, that I experimented about two month ago. by some weird coincidence i got to meet this 23 yo. we drunk beer, he a bit more than me and we kissed and we fucked. actually he … Continue reading →

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Sudden impact

Posted on January 8, 2012 by xavier_j

Nothing prepares you for it. my mother took it the hardest. She lost that day a shepard, a leader, a captain and rather than a friend, a lover and a husband. Is been almost 13 years since my father died. … Continue reading →

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new year’s resolutions

Posted on December 31, 2010 by xavier_j

In no particular order: spend more time with my son. he is priority #1 when it comes to men. keep a rigorous diet to get me those elusive 6pack abs keep the course at work (after all i won the … Continue reading →

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it may be the time…

Posted on May 6, 2010 by xavier_j

… for me to settle. i did not have much luck with the sex so i figured that i need to give up and look for something else. i still struggle to become mature and as i do that i am beginning to realize the things … Continue reading →

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who’s loving me?

Posted on March 24, 2010 by xavier_j

it is this thing. a superstition or something. every time you look at the clock and it is the exact top of the hour, it is said that somebody loves you. it has happened to me very often lately. and every time … Continue reading →

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