Category Archives: Uncategorized

the sex thing

Posted on November 12, 2023 by xavier_j

it’s been a struggle ever since I was a teen. I grew up knowing that sex is something others do, adults at that time. I came of age with the same notion that sex is something that others do and … Continue reading →

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On Empathy

Posted on December 16, 2019 by xavier_j

I used to struggle with it. I was unaware of others and I still am most of the time. What I discovered recently is that when I pay attention I have, it seems, the ability to understand and see the … Continue reading →

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the insecure alpha

Posted on July 30, 2018 by xavier_j

don’t hold my hand, don’t touch me and, god forbid, never kiss me in public. you would ask why? well, his rationale is that people seeing us will figure out we are gay and would reckon that i am tye … Continue reading →

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I should keep my mouth shut

Posted on June 8, 2018 by xavier_j

The Unmovable Object just moved far far away. And now all I need to do is resist the urge to contact him. That is how he works. But that is how it is not working for me. I need him … Continue reading →

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body shaming

Posted on June 6, 2018 by xavier_j

I hated my body for as long as I can remember. My father body shamed me all the time. I was skinny and tall. Then somebody at school started calling me ‘the skeleton’. I tried to live with all of … Continue reading →

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The Irresistible Force met the Unmovable Object

Posted on May 25, 2018 by xavier_j

he is too distant. i am too pushy. or too insistent. or i just try too hard. i really liked him. i still do. but is a post too far and i can’t reach it. he just won’t call, or … Continue reading →

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You knocked me off my feet

Posted on May 16, 2018 by xavier_j

I am falling. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. He’s just not into me. We had sex and it blew my mind. I have no idea how it was for him. We slept together. Like, we took a nap in … Continue reading →

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Meaningless Coincidences

Posted on May 14, 2018 by xavier_j

a weekend to remember. filled with meaningless coincidences but relaxed and gay. yeah, he is good looking. ok! he is hot. all right! i fell. i am falling. it will go away. he is not going to call. or text. … Continue reading →

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my ex

Posted on February 5, 2017 by xavier_j

8 month. to the day. the 5th day of the month. we met. we broke up. I was reluctant. i know i am insecure and sexually unfulfilled so a relationship would have been a disaster. because my mother and my … Continue reading →

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i heart u

Posted on May 15, 2016 by xavier_j

the t-shirt. did not see at first. i was way too much into his eyes and smile. our bodies touched for a brief moment and i felt his bulge, actually his erection right on my butt chic. oh, hello! he … Continue reading →

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