I used to struggle with it. I was unaware of others and I still am most of the time. What I discovered recently is that when I pay attention I have, it seems, the ability to understand and see the needs and wants of others and act accordingly. From the smallest situation to the big stuff. For me it is what I know for sure about me. What is also true is that I had less empathy for myself. I used to discard myself and I discard my decisions and especially my abilities. I believe that it is self-awareness that informs me of what I can and can not do and I lacked self-awareness. I was afraid to believe that there are things I actually am able to do. I was afraid that if I do them people would think I am odd or would laugh at me. So I pretend I can not do anything. It was safe. This past summer I discovered in therapy that I am an extrovert actually. I was shocked but my therapist explained to me that I though I was an introvert because I was inhibited by my narcissistic father. It kind of became a super power for me. It allows me to have courage and do and connect and talk. It suddenly changed me. I feel less intimidated and empowered to connect with people. It is big. It is courage that follows empathy. But, I will talk about courage in a future post.
… what’s important…
- 30-days
- alone
- amends
- bisexual
- change
- child
- coming out
- dad
- decision
- down and out
- failure to launch
- fool as one can be
- fortune cookie of the day
- friends
- gayromeo
- gays do it better
- gay would do it better
- god
- here and now
- hope
- idiot
- joystick (sounds sooo corny, I know)
- lifelike self-pleasuring implements
- little bear
- love
- meaningless coincidences
- meme
- moderation
- out of stock
- pride
- queer as folk
- relief
- schizoid personality
- signs
- size
- take the money and run
- tata
- the irresistible force
- the unmovable object
- things i should not say to *
- vulnerability
- what i want
- why
- xxl
… the story so far …
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- July 2008 (4)
- June 2008 (5)
- May 2008 (3)
- March 2008 (1)
… for the gay folk …
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Me as Gay Folk by Pink Gecko is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Romania License.